For Drew.

Dedicated to my dear friend drew aka andy or whatever you might call him.

Where was I, well the next day we continued exploring around helsinki to learn something new about their culture, thier languages and also sightseeing.

For starters, i must admit that helsinki really has one of the most amazing streets in the world. Their streets are superbly organized, anywhere you would like to go can be easily navigated by the help of a small pocket map (which in fact they distrbute free in every major tourist info centre). In fact, this is one of the 1st times i actually felt that the distance required to get to a certain destination illustrated on a map actually felt further than the actual walking distance itself. Maybe it was because we were staying right in helsinki city centre. Well who knows. :)

I guess i cant really say much more about their buildings and roads. But i do have to add that the roads are amazingly well maintained with small pebbles like these.

Well for those who unfortunately DONT have snow in thier country, let me make some explanations. These small pebbles are for traction control. Costing as low as just mere rocks, these babies provide more grip than the latest timberland boots on ice.

My feet are safely far away from slipping on the sidewalk and making me look like an idiot.

Moving on to the Finnish culture. Basically finns are very nice people, besides the drunk men you see at 4am at bars. Besides them, they never falter to lend a helping hand when we got lost (most of the time). Apparently they also crave interesting designs. Like this toilet booth.

In my opinion kinda looks like a tank. it costed RM 10.20 to pee in a tank. So i passed.

This reindeer model soft toy also had its genitals designed in. Pretty creative. My mates insisted that it was actually its tail. But i really dont see the point of designing a tail at THAT location. So i must say i still think they're balls.

You can tell me what you think, do click on the picture to enlarge.

As i came to more sights, i noticed that finns were also very sexually oriented people.

Like how they named a drink. ED. Erectile Dysfunction.

Knowing people of the male gender would have problems after drinking it, they made a tagline saying "Stay Focused" so you still can be in control. Quite creative.

I didnt buy that drink of course. Was worried about what would happen to my flag pole.

And also despite it being an European Union controlled country, its really cheap to get some pussy in finland. :D

They come in all shapes and sizes, and aparently various kinds of flavours too.

Best part is, they really are cheap.

I had the priviledge to test out some of these pussies. It costed me a mere 3EUR. :)

You have the choice of super mixing it.

Or even get one from Malaco.

If you werent satisfied with the mixed pussies, you could RE-mix them again. (with chocolate)

not sure how do u remix a pussy though.

And the best one. Judging by its name i get the chills.

MEGAPUSSI. Imagine what could be hidden inside.

Kinn's Guide to Helsinki. Part 1

We reached the Estonian airport 75 mins later. The name of the country kinda reminded me of Elbonia from dilberts comics. I was wondering for a moment where the fuzzy bearded people were hiding.

But then again, the airport was rather impressive for something so small. It had glass built window panes as windows, walls, floors, ceilings, and whatever you might want to find built in glass, in my opinion is perfect for toilets. (I wonder if my idea will pass on)

But being at the Estonian airport also had its own problems. Due to the fact again where we're holding a Malaysian passport.

This time Mr and Mrs chef was called in for their questioning. (The 'whats your religion” question.) After 5 minutes of random chat with the guards, they told Mrs chef that the reason a questioning was required was due to the fact that, I quote 'Malaysian has bad quality passports'. In the same crappy english that he spoke.

Well I guess the KIPPAS machine that we made our passports were just too advanced a technology for them to handle. I mean, our passports were made in 2 hours. My face was printed abit off from the centre of the pic. The lamination of the passport was not the best I must say. But we cut down the jobs of annoying makciks with their mouth full of kuih talking about the next Mawi album.

So I say yes to technology! Maybe someday we could make a 'Daytona' like simulator but with malaysian roads in the graphics. Then we could conduct the driving exam by just playing a video game, thus making the purchase of those cute little so-called-cars called kancils are not necessary.

Talk about cost efficiency.

But then again, back to the story, I must say that Malaysian passports really are much better than those ive seen from various countries. (I shall not state where, you'll have to find out) For Example, in Russia, they write your name (by hand) on to a small form, paste your picture in, and voilla! Its done. (crap I just said the country didnt I)

And they they say that Malaysian passports with printed names and glossy embossing just does not beat the standard of those peoples handwriting.

Officer A: Hey guys come check out this card, its glossy and shiny, the words are all printed out.

Officer B: I dont know man, kinda looks like a Pokemon card to me.

So I guess putting foil gloss on the passport does makes it look like a Pokemon card.

From Estonia, we traveled to Helsinki, Finland in a propellar airplane. I have never sat in one of these.

Looked really really cool. But small.

Even their refreshments came in small sizes. On the menu, there was a selection of if you want the blue sweet or the green sweet. I went with the green sweet.

This is the Finns favorite sweet. Its called liquorice. (lic-ker-rish) Some love it, some hate it. But the Finns just LOVE it.

Let me demonstrate how much love can be poured into a sweet.

They made, Liquorice pastilles. (The main one)

Liquorice lollipops.

Liquorice filled sweets.

Liquorice filled chocolates.

Liquorice chewing gum.

Liquorice liquorice.

Liquorice alcohol.

and OMG liquorice FISHERMANS FRIEND.

They actually have a lot more like maybe liquorice edible panties, but I guess I didnt have time to explore.

But I really wonder why do they have to make their packets look like condoms. I would have really mistaken this as a medical condom or something.

We stayed in Omena Hotel. Which conveniently is just in the centre of everything. Well I guess Helsinki really isn't that big. But it was an excellent choice, with a short 10 minutes walk away from most attractions. Uber.

Best thing of all. They had this small restaurant whos name has already been carved into our hearts.

With its beautiful logo which resembles a nipple with blue outlines, its beautiful interior deco which makes you feel like you are dining with saddam hussein, its tv which played sexy arabic girls dancing around skimpily clad, and their toilets which look like toilets.

This place is called

ERIKIN PIPPURI. (yeah the name isnt that cool)

This is their logo.

And their restaurant motto pasted on every serviette you could find.

They are a kebab store. Located just opposite our hotel. I must say, their kebab is just delicious. For prices ranging from 6 - 9 EUR. You get a hearty portion of meat, fries, salad and maybe rice. The portions were huge.

Iskander Kebab.

Kana special.

Some weird name I cant rmb kebab.

And Erikin special.

Nothing better than the juicy fresh tomatoes creating mini explosions in your mouth, the tender moist flavorful meat slices swirling on your tongue, the crispy fries fried to perfection and slightly salted, and to down it all down with a quenching portion of sprite zero. Kinda felt like that rattatoulie movie.

Done with that, back to sleep and preparing for our next day.

A travellers tale almost from helsinki.

How do i start, well first off, my journey has been quite a journey, we left moscow at 640am on the 26th of jan. Heading towards the Moscow Sheremyetovo airport. All (most) of us had high spirits in and prepared to wash the last hectic semester away with a good holiday. But some were still sleepy. like this guy.

I travelled with a group of 6 (including me). There was Chef Thong & Mrs Chef

Mr. Bearman, Jimmy Jot & the infamous BPONG aka doraemon,

and lastly yours truly.

Moscow airports are really one of a kind, as a holder of a Malaysian passport, you can be sure you are NOT allowed to roam around freely here. They will and most likely hold you in a containing cell, make idiotic faces at you and ask you things that you already know. The toughest of all those questions might just be,

Airport Officer: Hi, whats your religion?

Why is it tough? Because basicially i dont really know what they want to know, i guess if u say you're muslim, they'll grope your groins searching for the c4 you have in your handphone. But what comes for any other religion in this world i dont know. Nor do i see the importance in asking such an irrelavent question. Because I dont think a suicidal terrorist is going to wear a shirt that says "i love holy warfare" on their backs. (they may write it on thier briefs so thier God can identify them in some way tho.)

Besides that, in the Sheremyetovo airport there is a "PLEASE SMOKE INSIDE" rule. Unlike many european countries now which carry the EU ban on indoor smoking. Personally i have never seen an airport which you could smoke in. I always thought the fire alarms would go off. Guess that airport doesent have fire alarms. :)

Ready made smoking booths.

So we waited for 1 hour for the check in time, only to find out that our beloved 75min plane ride has been delayed for 4 hours. What luck.

Thank God i have my trusty friend who sings to me and never leaves me under any circumstances.

Unless i forget to charge him.

So i scouted the airport for "fun" and "unusual" stuff to do, aparently there was none. But the free newspaper did enlighten me for awhile.

Looks like someone working at the gas station got pissed at the ever steadily dropping Rubles.

Unfortunately he didnt know how to make the letter "K" on that board. "Ahh well, C will do"

There was also an article talking about how Americans "criminalizes" the Russian actors.

I find it amazingly true. You really DONT see a Russian guy acting as Rambo or Batman, neither are they usually the heroes of any movie. I can recall the weird guy in Wanted who breeds mice and calls them mickey was russian. Well i guess nobody noticed him because everyone was busy eyeing angelina jolies boobs.

So its either weird mice breeding introvert, OR criminal maasterminds. Nice choices.

But i must say that Russians are really invading the Hollywood scene. *clap clap* to that. If you have yet watched the show Rock 'n Rolla. Please download copy from your favourite torrent site now. :) Uber cool show.

I also spotted an abnormally looking luggage bag.

"Hi, I would like to check this in, i hope it fits"

After the long wait, finally entering the plane. The thing about european budget airlines, they just dont really take care of thier planes cleanliness.

Look at this swell fly who posed for me to do a portrait shot. I guess he caused the bishop to be pissed too.